Today was a really long day, in retrospect.  I accomplished a few tasks that have weighed heavily on my mind; more than I even knew.  But now that they're done, I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.

You see, I was able to clean out a lot of my things from my room back home, at my dad's house.  For the past two years, it has held dozens of large boxes full of dishes, cups, flowers, candles, tablecloths and centerpieces.  My closet held six pairs of khakis and vests and a very large garment bag.

I never told you that I had been engaged, because when you first told me you were leaving, I thought that was the end of our dating.  Then, I realized there was something more to 'us' than that, but you were gone and I didn't know how/when to tell you, or if it even mattered.

I was with him for just over five years.  Our original wedding date was August of 2013, which was pushed back to August 2014, but then was obviously entirely canceled.  We broke up sometime in the summer of 2014, honestly, not long before I met you, but by that time, we'd drifted so far apart that it didn't feel any different.  I was incredibly tired of crying and being lied to and hurt, and didn't even cry about the so-called "break up".  He hurt me in so many ways I never knew possible, which has made it hard for you, because of my trust issues and doubts.

Anyway, then I moved to Fargo and started a new job, one that made me SO happy and my life felt so complete.  I felt refreshed and like my old, happy self again.  I really just wanted to meet friends because it was sometimes lonely, and I wanted someone to drink a beer with at the end of a long day.  Cue, Adam.

So, my day today consisted of organizing all of the wedding things and listing it all on Craigslist, eBay, and WeddingBee.  Emotionally, it wasn't the easiest, but I feel so free!   I can't wait to get it all out of here!

I hope one day you can read this and ask any questions you may have.